Moving On

I know she won't see this post. She won't know.

For a while, I seem to have forgotten the pain.  Seemed like a long time ago but also seemed like yesterday. I took a step and fell off a cliff, landing and breaking everything possible. I thought I could be neutral, I thought I will feel nothing. I could not be more wrong. We stopped talking. Stopped exchanging messages. I avoided going back on Saturdays. Seems like I forgot and thought I will be at my favourite place. What happened after that was nothing short of a nightmare for me. I dare not look into her eyes. I dare not make conversation. Yes, I am a coward. My courage eluded me and fear was overflowing. Sadness soon overcame and those memories that were locked up returned. Shame on me. If I were to start all over again, I believe I will still make the same choice.

Perhaps no one else will know, of the confession I told. But perhaps at least one of us will feel the pain unfold.

This is for you , J.